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06/26/2008: "Venting. (warning; cursing below)"

For those of you who are new to my blog, or just don't know I'm the single mother of the worlds most beautiful little girl. Her name is Abrianna Skye and she is my whole life. I have recently found out that her sperm donor got another girl pregnant. Of course the first thing that popped into my mind was, great another fatherless child, and another child for him to not support. But then I found out he was having a little boy. Now what pops into my head? Oh great, now my child will be the outcast. Fatherless, and this baby, strictly because of his gender, will be god in his Daddy's eyes.

It pisses me off so bad, because my daughter is amazing. She's smart and funny. And she's beautiful. Of course I am partial to her, but I still feel she deserves better then what her father is doing to her. Sometimes I feel as though I over compensate for him. I'm always buying her something new or taking her somewhere exciting because he doesn't do shit for her. So of course, I feel the need to triple what I would do if he did, to make up for his slack. What is really depressing to me is, I've always had a father. I've always known my Dad. And been extremly close to him as well. My Dad is honestly one of the greatest people of all time. And I wish my little girl could say the same thing about hers.

I guess in life there is a lot of roadblocks like these. And today is just going to be a depressing day. I want my little girl to have the best of everything. But what makes this baby, worth so much more then her. What makes this baby so much better then her. That he gets his daddy and Abrianna doesn't get hers. Why is my child the one that gets pushed off. It's not like she was born when he was that young. She's only 18 months old. He was 21 when she was born. Which is older then I was. I guess to sum up all of this, my daughter has an asshole for a father, and it sucks.